Golfer and Wife

A man and his wife are cuddling after a romantic interlude.  The wife initiates pillow talk and says, “So honey, if I died, would you re-marry?”  The husband, used to such queries and half unconscious responds, “Well, yes, I suppose I would.”  Mildly distressed, she punches him playfully and exclaims, “Honey!”

She then asks, “Ok, so would you sell our house?  Tell me you wouldn’t sell the house.”  The husband replies, “Well, honey,  I think I might.”  She punches him less playfully and says, “Surely you would keep our bedroom furniture. Tell me it means SOMETHING to you.”  He  negates her again and now she’s in tears.  She says, “Oh honey, tell me you would at least keep my golf clubs!”  Without thinking and nearly asleep he groans, “Well of course I’d sell your clubs.”  She’s left handed!

Golfer-Funeral

2 old duffers are out on a golf course.  One of them stops and reverently removes his cap as a funeral procession passes by.  The other says, “Wow, Henry, you’re very respectful.”  Henry replaces his cap and says, “Well, I should be.  I lived with her for 50 years.”